Sometimes
by ncfan
Summary: Sometimes he hated her and sometimes he loved her, because Sakura was the sort of person who could bring out those emotions in anyone.


If you want me to write about a certain character or character combination, tune in to the poll on my profile.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Sometimes Uchiha Sasuke hates Haruno Sakura.

She's a fan girl (and that's always going to be held in a less than stellar light), one of the worst Sasuke's had to outrun in a while (because where fan girls disgust Neji and freak Gaara out, he has to ignore and outrun them at the same time).

She's needy. Sasuke knows that if he gave an inch she'd take a mile and he'd be in for it big time, because he knows that if he even gave the slightest hint, however false, that he was interested, Sakura would never let him forget it, and he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

She's short-tempered. Normally, a girl's temperament makes little difference to Sasuke, but Sakura's temper is grating and makes Sasuke think almost with longing of coolheaded girls. The way she snaps at Kakashi when he's late and harshly scolds Naruto even for the smallest of offenses (and when she does that even Sasuke wants to jump to Naruto's defense because the blond dobe isn't really that bad of a guy) would be enough to turn him away even if he were even remotely interested in her.

And she's weak. Apart from her almost-perfect chakra control and her minimal genjutsu skills, she has no overt strengths. Sasuke has never known Sakura to jump into a fight and actually be able to contribute something. He and Naruto, they're always having to protect her, from _everything._ It drives Sasuke near-insane, having to worry about himself and her every time they move into battle.

He hates that she's obsessed with him. He hates that she needs someone to provide steppingstones for her every inch of the way. He hates that she has such a short trigger. He hates that she's weak and doesn't seem to realize it (Because if she did then maybe she'd just stay out of the way and stop trying to "play the hero").

But at the same time, on some level, Sasuke loves her at the same time he hates her.

He loves her because he knows that she has the potential to become stronger, and that that potential opens up new doors all the time. Sakura's willing to try, to strive to be better and be an asset to her team rather than a dead weight.

He loves her because despite her short temper and her outward disdain for Naruto, Sakura does care for those she's close to and can be fiercely protective of them on an almost maternal scale. She's an absolute force of nature when someone else tries to put Naruto down, and for that it's small wonder Naruto's absolutely smitten with her.

He loves Sakura because she wants to help him. Sasuke doesn't want to be helped, but she's the first who has ever seemed to want to. Sakura wants to heal him, and even though Sasuke knows that though his ability to be healed is dead and buried, he loves her for trying.

He loves her for the innocence he sees in her eyes. And that is why he must act as though he hates her. Because though he loves that spark of innocence shining in emerald depths, he hates her for having what he has lost.

Sakura, for all her intelligence, does not understand. She does not understand that Sasuke is an Avenger, that his life is devoted to one purpose and one purpose only, and that when that purpose is fulfilled he'll be nothing but an empty shell.

And he knows that someone like Sakura doesn't deserve to be so intimately attached to an empty shell.

She would shrivel and die, because Sakura needs someone who can be alive for her, who can treat her like a lady and with dignity and respect. Sakura, Sasuke muses, doesn't know the enormity of what she's saying when she says _"I love you,"_ and the danger found in those words.

That's why he has to leave her behind with everyone else. It is love, not hate, that leaves Sakura cold and unconscious on a stone path late at night _"Sakura. Thank you…for everything."_, because Sasuke knows that she would not survive the path he is determined to walk.

So Sasuke ignores the desperation in her eyes and the panic rising in her voice. He ignores the sobs and the screams, despite the pity and guilt it awakens in him, two sensations he had thought long dead.

So Sasuke leaves, and tries to cut off all his ties to Sakura, Naruto, and everyone else.

Sasuke knows that he did right by leaving Sakura behind, by trying to get her to live her life.

But sometimes, Sasuke wonders if his life would have been better if he had just allowed himself to love without fear, if he had just let Sakura try to help him.

And sometimes, he thinks it would have been.

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I will welcome all reviews. This is my first attempt at writing SasuSaku. How'd I do? I always thought of Sasuke's feelings towards Sakura being more love-hate than anything else.


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